Wouldn’t it be wonderful if before a child’s activity started, divorcing parents could agree whether their child should participate? How about figuring out the details of summer and school vacations?
Unfortunately, for some reason, many parties seem bent on last minute decisions or indecision. The failure to address these matters can weigh people down and prevent positive interaction.
When divorce is eminent or has occurred, there are tools available to help parents with the issues related to their children. A parenting coordinator is one such tool that is gaining in popularity.
A parenting coordinator is a professional - a psychologist, lawyer, mediator, or social worker - who helps in the post-divorce period. A Parent Coordinator “PC” deals with the issues between the parties after the divorce has taken place and the parties are trying to function with a separation agreement that details the agreements between the parties. This is in contrast to a guardian ad litem or a custody evaluator, who observes the family at its worst moments, during the emotional turmoil of a divorce, and makes recommendations to the court about issues such as custody, parenting plans, and access to the children.
Naturally, only a court has the authority to modify an agreement or enforce its terms against a contemptuous party, but a parenting coordinator can be useful in resolving issues related to interpretation and implementation of the agreement, and thereby try to keep the parties from needing or wanting the court's regular intervention. It does not usually take too long for the parties to realize that going to court to resolve disputes is an inefficient, unpredictable, and expensive way to settle issues of a divorce and parenting matters. For those enlightened parties, the use of a parenting coordinator is growing in popularity.
Legislation in Massachusetts authorize courts to make post-judgment appointments of parent coordinators BUT only if both parents agree. It also allows the court to order the method and manner in which the PC’s fees shall be paid, and it also allows the Court to outline and specify the responsibilities of parenting coordinators. Routinely, the parties and their attorneys are integral in that process and work together with the proposed PC and the court to establish the parameters of the relationship.
Parties who use this tool open mindedly and in the fashion it was designed will likely find the PC to be an effective referee. Using an impartial third party to keep the issues in perspective and help resolve conflicts prior to the intervention of a court process benefits the parties and most importantly the children.
By: Julie A. Dialessi-Lafley, Esq.
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