In 2005, a government-financed study found that more than 1 million children in our nation take care of sick or disabled parents or relatives. The AARP says that about 65 million people give care each year. These caregivers can be friends, family members, spouses and neighbors. In some instances more than one relative helps out in some families, but most caregivers go it alone.
These caregivers take on the responsibilities of shopping, feeding, dressing, medicating and even changing adult diapers. The reality is that as our older generation lives a longer life, they often are unable to care for themselves independently, and children or even older parents and family members are taking on an exhausting and distressing responsibility with demands of something more than a full time job.
The result is that caregivers often feel inadequately prepared for the job, overwhelmed, grief stricken and scared. Caregiving also can be demanding and time-consuming. It may even raise your risk of stress-related disorders. The work of caregiving often goes well beyond what a person can do, and caregivers are encouraged to seek help.
The following tips are drawn from professional, government and charitable groups. They help caregivers succeed.
Don't go it alone
Caregivers are encouraged to ask others for help. Start with family and friends. Keep less engaged family members informed. Set up a family conference, seek suggestions and talk about disagreements. There are networks where you can ask families with similar problems how they handled them. If possible, involve the person you're caring for and help that person take responsibility and join in decisions related to care, finances, estate planning, planning for funeral or internment, etc.
Watch for problems
Mental and physical signs of caregiver stress include the following but may not be limited to a lot of anger or fear; a tendency to overreact; feeling depressed, isolated or overburdened; thoughts of guilt, shame or inadequacy; taking on more than you can handle; headaches; digestive upsets; weight loss or gain; trouble sleeping; fatigue or illness. It is important to pay attention for these signs, as caregivers are at risk as well as the elder who is receiving care. The increase in elder abuse and neglect may be related to the pressures upon caregivers that result in their acting out on the person they are caring for at the time.
Take time out
It is important for caregivers to be good to themselves as well as the person who receives their care. Take time away from caregiving and don't neglect your personal and professional needs. There are simple ways to recharge that caregivers may not otherwise think of when overwhelmed and stressed out by their responsibilities. These include getting lots of rest and exercise; enjoying relaxing music; visiting with friends, reading and most importantly, keeping a sense of humor.
Get help
No one is expected to have all the answers. There are many resources available today to support caregivers and help them when needed. This can come in the form of a call to a support hotline to just have someone listen. A professional can help caregivers understand their situation and will not be judgmental when caregivers expresses their honest feelings about the care they are giving or the situation they are in.
Be prepared
Caregivers can prepare themselves by being organized, educated on the issues and aware of the downside of providing care in such forms of stress and frustration. They also should look to their home to ensure it is ready for the unique issues surrounding a person with medical needs as well as look to make sure they are prepared financially and legally for this responsibility. Time away from employment may add financial pressure, just as working and providing adequate care can add to the burdens. The legal issues of estate planning, liability and rights of the patient should also be addressed.
The important thing for caregivers to remember is that they must take care of themselves before they can care for anyone else. They are not alone in this process, and by taking steps to help themselves they can continue the rewarding work they are doing.
By: Julie A. Dialessi-Lafley, Esq.
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